February Wrap Up

Checking in to see how I did on this month's goals....

FAMILY

• Date with Hubs 1
• Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre (Hubs blogged about it here)
• Date with Hubs 2
• we have some positive things in place, but didn't "officially" have a second, low-key kinda date...
• Family Date
• Went to the zoo on "Penguin Days" (Hubs blogged about that one  here)
• Family Game Night
• We played my favoritest game ever (no idea why it is so expensive now!) and ate yummy push-ups!

HOME

• 5 minute Daily Tasks from Get Organized Wizard
• What the heck?  I can't seem to follow through with this one AT ALL...it takes 5 minutes but for some reason, I have a mental block
• $100 in Emergency Fund
• didn't happen :(

HEALTH

• Continue making Chicken Stock, working toward a rhythm (every week or every other week)
• some progress, but still need to find a rhythm...
• Continue to eat Eggs 4 times a week
• some weeks I do great....I know I need to add some variety to how I eat the eggs...that might help!
• Any Monday Missions I can
• Seek and Destory Artificial Sweeteners - I have made lots of progress in this area over the years.  I avoid aspartame (and recently had to kick my Diet Coke habit....again....haven't had an aspartame sweetened soda since October 31, 2011).  I also prefer Stevia as an "artificial" sweetener if needed...I happen to like iced tea unsweetened.
• Wean off the Sweeteners - to do this one will take itty bitty baby steps.  I gotta do it for the health of it, but it reminds me of my days of dieting and when I was super mean to myself and my body :(
• Avoid Artificial Food Dyes and Colorings - this one is way to overwhelming!  Do you know how many things have artificial dyes and colors???  I'm not giving up on this one, but I don't know if I am a purist yet...
• Walk or Exercise 3 times a week
• Egads!  (I love that word!)  Some weeks I'd get a couple of walks or dances in...sometimes NONE.  This one needs revisiting for sure!

SELF

• Finish 2 books
• Succulent Wild Woman
• I Know What You"re Thinking
• The Gifts of Imperfection
• THAT was the second month that I went above the goal....wooty woot!
• Journal 3 times a week
• I like shooting for 3 times a week.  I find incredible value in journaling and shooting for 3 gets at least one or two journalistic moments in there.  I am not hard on myself when I don't....I just keep trying and appreciate the benefits of what I do get in...
• Make a "Me Time" plan....and start it (for realz this time)
• Just what did I think "for realz this time" meant?  ;)  Maybe next month!

PROJECTS

• Weekly projects from here (checking in Monday and Friday with Katie on Facebook)
• Family Purpose Statement - why am I STUCK on this one?  I think my life and my family is in a bit of a transition, so it is hard to boil down a purpose statement.  One could argue that perhaps I need this to GUIDE me during the transition.  Maybe so...sigh!
• Downsize Book/Magazine Collection - I kinda feel like this is a work in progress since we moved back in September anyway!
• Streamline Mail - this one is mostly streamlined already!
• Streamline Receipts - thanks to Hubs' OCD attention to detail, the receipts are already taken care of  
• Practice speed reading at least weekly
• A couple weeks, yes I did do this....want to try to continue this habit next month
• At some point, I want to try this for 5 consecutive days
• Well....I got to thinking about the side effects she mentions that involve going to the bathroom multiple times in a day.  Since I need 45 to 50 minute blocks of time at work where I don't really excuse myself, I want to time this project just right.  So I didn't get it in this month.  Hopefully I will do it though!

ARCHIVES (stuff I wanna do from my recent dig)

• Didn't have anything to do on this one ;)

HOUSEKEEPING (what I meant to do....and still wanna)

• Post some Jam with Me with Faith Barista
• done!  A bit of an epic post  here
• Find the Scripture memory book
• Sadly, I didn't find this little guy...
• Email my emotional work friend, if I can find her email address
• Sigh...I don't know where her email addy is and I did search for her on Facebook with no luck!
• Affirmations
• Done!  I had this done and printed (color-coded even) by Valentine's Day...started reading almost daily.  Ya know what?  I felt in better spirits on the days I read them!  Crazy?

Digging Up Archives--March

2008

• I am reminded of another carnival that is now gone.  It makes me kinda sad to notice so many changes to carnivals and link-ups of days past!  Several are changed, some gone completely.  Back when I first started blogging, there were Smart Habits Saturdays....we would set a goal for the week and check back in a week later.  We called ourselves "Smarties" and there was a reason behind the SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time specific....I think)!  A quick Google search didn't reveal another location and when I clicked on the link in my 2008 blog post....it was a dead link.  So...it is a great idea and I am doing my own goal setting these days.  Perhaps I need to use the SMART tools to evaluate my goals!  Hmmm....
• Here's a good post that kinda introduces myself when I was partying along with some other blogging moms!  Also here's a random post that reminds me of one great weekend and some other random blessings in my life...

2009

• Only 4 posts in March 2009.  Most were Scriptures I was memorizing.  One was accidentally posted by my husband onto my blog and I left it :)

2010

• Only one post in March 2010.   Here I write about how crazy  my life was before I was to take my licensing exam and was working 4 jobs.  

2011

• Some  ME! posts during March of 2011 that included a massage ( I gotta get me one of those), as well as one of my favorite rituals.  But, I wrote a post here that I think was really good and I am so glad I read it again!

Thursday Thirteen: Kinds of Blogs I Read

You know I am continually trying to figure out who I am, taking personality test after personality test...it hit me to look at the blogs I subscribe to in my reader and classify them.  That ought to tell me something about myself.  So, I did.  Here's what I came up with (and I even made a chart):

1. Self Acceptance/Body Image ~ 20%
2. Non-Dieting Eating (Health Living) ~ 14%
3. Friends' Blogs or Personal/General Blogs ~ 13%
4. Green/Organic Living (Traditional Foods) ~ 12%
5. Psychology Related ~ 7%
6. Money/Frugal Living ~ 7%
7. Faith ~ 6%
8. Minimalism ~ 6%
9. Personal Growth ~ 4%
10. Cats ~ 4%
11. Fight Media's Message ~ 3%
12. Organizing ~ 3%
13. Marriage ~1%

As I look over this list, I realize this is reflective of where I am right now in my life's journey.  A year ago, my list would look quite different.  I do think it was hard to classify some blogs and there was definite overlap in the categories.  I am tickled pink that 4 percent of the blogs I read are cats....what can I say?  Cats make me happy.  I am thinking the large percentages of non-dieting eating and body acceptance is because that is what needs the most focus at this time.  Faith isn't terribly high but that is because I haven't found many good quality faith related blogs.  However, that does NOT mean there aren't any....I just haven't found them or they haven't found me yet :)  Ditto on the marriage.  Marriage is HUGE for me.  I love working on and focusing on my marriage...but I haven't found the good quality marriage blogs as of yet....

Linking up over at Thursday Thirteen....what kinds of blogs do you read?  Send me to some good ones....

Faith Jam: Vulnerability

I really enjoy this blog and as I have set in my monthly goals, I really want to participate in the Faith Jam more.  When I popped over there to see the topic for the week, I was floored when I saw the word, "Vulnerable."  You see, I have been on this journey.  Toward the end of the year, I "happened" upon this video by Brené Brown.  This has launched a revolution of sorts in my mind and hopefully in my life.  I have found myself trying to absorb from Ms. Brown's teachings as much information as I can.  I even chose my one word based on this new way of thinking.  I've simply tried to open my mind to what God wants to teach me about AUTHENTICITY.  I did choose a Bible verse for the word (Psalm 51:6) and made it into a bookmark...see below:

I am currently participating in this virtual book club, reading Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection.  Every single word of this book is twisting me (in a good way).  I go through the day really trying to absorb and assimilate this information.  How many things are different in our lives because of our shame?  We are so stinking scared to be our real, true self....we walk around hiding our true self.  It is all because of shame.  We are afraid of being vulnerable.  We push the shame down, convinced there is something inherently wrong with us and that we are the only ones.  Ms. Brown is showing me, through her research, that we all carry shame.  I'm starting to believe it.

So I was talking to God about this.  (Sometimes we have long conversations in the car.)  God brought to mind how I used to lie....a lot.  Looking back on it, some of those lies were outright ridiculous, far-fetched....  But I was desperately trying to hide the real me.  I think I wanted attention.  Deep down, I wanted love and belonging.  But the lies I made up to hide the real me....were kinda out there.  Sometimes they'd freak some people out.  I also kinda think a lot of the folks I lied to knew I was lying.  Ironically, I was trying to hide some real stuff that would have probably gotten the "attention" I think I was after.  But that's not safe.  Some friends did reject me.  But you know, deep down, that was me trying to realize my fear...I was afraid they'd reject me, so I would push them until they did....but it was all okay since it wasn't the REAL me they were rejecting.  Of course, this was done subconsciously.  And this is me psychoanalyzing myself years later.

As I am sorting this out, talking with God, in the car...it hits me.  I was making up another story.  I didn't want to own my own story.  My story has to do with growing up in poverty and feeling basically invisible.  My story includes a separation from my husband where I really lost myself, truly believing I was unworthy of him and my kids.  My story includes addiction.  My story includes emotional binge eating.  My story includes walling myself off from people.  My story includes working four jobs while my husband is out of work.  My story includes a period of time when we got food stamps.  My story includes a come and go relationship with my God.  MY story includes a girl telling outrageous lies to LOTS of people.  MY STORY is packed full of shame.  As I am making this realization, I tear up....I don't want MY STORY.  I want ANYONE else's....no matter how jacked up it is....I'll take ANYONE else's....  That is the power of shame.  But here's the thing...the scary, scary thing....to heal shame, we make ourselves vulnerable.

In the book I'm reading, here is one of the most powerful quotes (although, the entire book could be highlighted....at least for me):

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy--the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.  Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

As a person of faith, I have an added benefit of being able to be vulnerable with my God first.  And it is different....even if God already knows, it is way different when I choose to be vulnerable with him.  I don't think that is enough.  I think we are gifts to each other on this earth, meant to share our pain and healing with....to grow and have abundance in our lives.  But we can practice with God first, and fall on him if our friends can't handle the realness...and God will hug us up, dust us off, and send us out to be vulnerable again.  That's how healing can happen.

February Goals

FAMILY

Date with Hubs 1

Date with Hubs 2

Family Date

Family Game Night

HOME

5 minute Daily Tasks from Get Organized Wizard -- I gotta do more of these...

I went above and beyond last month and got some money into the Emergency Fund. Let's get another $100 in there!

HEALTH

Continue making Chicken Stock, working toward a rhythm (every week or every other week)

Continue to eat Eggs 4 times a week

Any Monday Missions I can

Walk or Exercise 3 times a week

SELF

Finish 2 books

Journal 3 times a week

Make a "Me Time" plan....and start it (for realz this time)

PROJECTS

Weekly projects from here (checking in Monday and Friday with Katie on Facebook)

Practice speed reading at least weekly

At some point, I want to try this for 5 consecutive days

ARCHIVES (stuff I wanna do from my recent dig)

Ya know, I don't think there was anything from that dig that I want to search out and do...which is good for me, because...well...I've got plenty :)

HOUSEKEEPING (what I meant to do....and still wanna)

Post some Jam with Me with Faith Barista

Find the Scripture memory book

Email my emotional work friend, if I can find her email address

Affirmations