Halfway Through A Challenge

I weigh-in at my WW meetings on Mondays, but I wait until Wednesday to blog about it. At least, that is the plan. This is good for me, because it is reminder of my goals a couple days into the next week. Monday weigh-ins are good in a way....it is the beginning of a week....you know the whole diet beginning Monday mind-set (which is a crock, but still....) It is also a way for me to think back on the week and see it as a whole, when it comes to eating, and wonder if the scale will reflect my feelings about the week. I say wonder....but I have never gone to a weigh-in and left surprised too much. Sometimes it isn't as much of a loss as I'd hoped....sometimes it isn't as much of a gain as I'd expected....but generally I KNOW which way the scale will move.

Last week was up and down. Some people have "Bad Hair Days"--I have "Bad Eating Days". I would have a good eating day, then a bad eating day, then a good eating day, then a bad..... What would I expect the scale to say in this situation? Nothing! No change, right? That was what I was hoping. It is difficult to know the points eaten on a bad day (which for me is the definition of a bad eating day....not counting points for the day for one reason or the other), so theoretically, the scale could move dramatically (ahem, in the wrong direction) if I consumed like 5000 calories that day (which is like 100 points....and, in case that # doesn't mean much to you: I get 24 points a day and only an extra 35 flex points each week). So, I was a bit nervous when I stepped on the scale. I said to My Man that I hoped I weighed the same. I have a little "Post Traumatic Stress" that I alluded to last week, which stems from some struggles about a year ago, that the weight loss won't stick....so actually the weight loss I'd achieved over the last couple of weeks still being gone would be a sign of success for me. I certainly hope I haven't lost anyone in my lengthy explanation....

Here's the news: I LOST POINT 2 POUNDS! WOO HOO!!!!!!

It would be so easy to get depressed about 2/10's of a pound. But I am pleased with the scale. Still motivated to keep going. The only touch of frustration I feel: I haven't hit that 5 pound mark yet so no extra buttons for me. The Sisterhood Challenge is only half-way over, I still have 3 weeks to lose 5.6 pounds.....which is less than 2 pounds a week....it CAN be done.

When Mama's Gone...

Back before Christmas, when my kids were out of school for a couple of weeks....we allowed them to be home alone for part of the time. Hubs and I would periodically check in (by coming home or phone calls) and they are getting older....so they enjoy the opportunity to show how responsible and independent they can be.


The second day of their Christmas vacation, I came home at lunch....Rachel met me at the door with a mischievous grin and said, "We haven't been doing anything in the kitchen!" There wasn't a huge mess, but I knew she was showing her own wit with her greeting, so I prepared myself....looking around. I opened the freezer at some point to see a bowl of brown pudding-like substance. Asking what it was, the kids responded, "Hot chocolate." I said, "THIS is why you need to go to school!" They get "bored" and creativity ensues.

The other day, I saw Rachel sitting with something the size of a baseball....she was eating it. I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked. She had taken the inside of a ton of Oreos (with only a sprinkling of actual Oreo cookie) and "smushed" it into a ball....then, she stuck it in the freezer. Are you seeing a trend yet?

Yesterday, my husband was working for part of the day....I had my Beth Moore Bible Study to go to. It is only a couple of hours of independence for the kids. I gave them instructions for a meal....that should take 20 to 30 minutes of their time.....leaving minimal time to get "creative." Or.....so I thought! On my way home, I called to check in.....this is the conversation:

"You are coming home now?"

"Yes."

"Mama....I was looking for some salt....and I saw the vanilla....and I thought, Hmmmm....vanilla.....so I put a drop of it in milk and it is just beginning to freeze."

(Pausing to take it all in) "How.....much.....milk?"

"Just a cup"

"OK....did you put any sugar in it?"

"Sugar? No"

"You might want to add some sugar....and if you only put a drop of vanilla....you might want to add a couple more drops."

"Ummmm....OK....how much sugar?"

"For just a cup of milk, maybe a spoonful....I'll be home in just a second to help you!"

"Oh....it is in a baggie right now, I'll take it out and put it in a cup!"

So, I arrived home just in time to see her finishing up her concoction and putting it back in the freezer. This time in a cup! Not sure what it is about my absence, but it apparently attracts them (especially the girl) to the kitchen to come up with things to freeze!

Weighing In....

It has been FOREVER since I actually posted how I was doing with my weight loss....being accountable is always a good thing, right? I have been going to Weight Watchers meetings since before Christmas. I didn't mention it a whole lot on here or really to anyone else because about a year ago, I did Weight Watchers for about six months and OVERALL, I did not have success. I would go up a pound one week, down a pound the next....never "sticking" with anything. In the last two weeks of weighing in, I have lost a total of 4.2 pounds. I was so excited this past weigh-in because the 3 pounds were STILL gone, with a little extra gone as well. That may seem odd to some of you, but I had this fear that the 3 pounds was a fluke....but it being gone two weeks in a row....maybe that is something to hang on to and motivate me.

So after about two weeks, my goal of ten pounds that I announced here seems really attainable to me. I only have 5.8 pounds to go.

Oozing Beth Moore

Can I just tell you that last week was a crazy week....a difficult week? I had an MRI on Thursday as well as a head cold (not to mention my work was especially trying). And I was out (read...in a coma) a lot, mostly taking medicine so my body could fight the bug. But, I insisted on no more medicine past a certain time so I could head to my Beth Moore Study on Esther. I am getting better, but I needed the study more than I needed the rest. Do you know what I am saying? Beth is anointed and can speak to women in a way that NO ONE else can. I know that when I am in the middle of a study, I ooze her....probably get on people's nerves...but I find that I just can't help myself. She makes me so hungry for more of the Word that I am beside myself. She speaks DIRECTLY to my heart and it is no coincidence that each of her lessons fit perfectly into my life at that exact moment, ya know?

I know that not everyone is a fan. I don't get it. I don't have to. But if you haven't at least tried her out to see if you are as blessed as I am by her, you MUST give it a try. The girl makes me want to study Greek and Hebrew....I get a fire in my belly....and ALL of it is wrapped around (or rather tangled up) in my God!

Hiding the Word

In a previous post, I shared that I was trying to memorize 2 Scriptures a month and that I was going to post the Scriptures I've chosen here. For one thing, someone else might want or need to read a Scripture and voila....there it is. Wouldn't it be cool if someone googled just the right word or combo of words that led to this here blog and reading this particular Scripture spoke right to them at that moment? My God can do things like that...


Here's my second Scripture for January: Deuteronomy 7:6. "For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession" (NIV).

To get some tips on memorizing, read through the posts at Beth Moore's blog. She is the one with the idea in the first place....and she even made some videos with tips on memorizing.

I Found the Problem

Okay, if you look at the picture.....it seems harmless....almost fun, right? It looks like a toy that you can take apart and build with. And when I tell you just how small it is, rationally HOW can something so small be such a big problem. But oh baby, is it ever!! That picture right there is a picture of a female hormone, estrogen. And today, it has caused a great deal of havoc in my life. This morning, I apparently yelled at my son for being sick. My husband had to intervene and tell me not to yell at him. And right now, I honestly do not believe I was yelling. And then after my husband took the reins, well....then I got so raving mad at him that I m-a-y have yelled at him for not listening to me. And right now, I still feel like he wasn't listening to me. How can you send me off in that condition? But I have to work....well....because my kids like to eat. So....I go to work to pick up a pregnant teenager to transport her to a counseling session. Stop for a second....did you hear what I said? pregnant teenager....ummmm....the hormone motherload right there in one little old walking and talking package! Before the day was over, I would introduce my hormones to her hormones. Thing is....her hormones called me some r-e-a-l-l-y ugly names and said some r-e-a-l-l-y ugly things. Now....I am a professional....I know this is not about me AT ALL. But it is hard when the ugly things are flying at you not to take it personal...oh, and did I mention my hormones were raring their ugly heads today already....so my emotions were vulnerable to attack anyway!


I started a bible study last night, Beth Moore's Esther. Interestingly, we were asked to write on a card 3 things that we think make it hard to be a woman. My NUMBER ONE was my hormones are all over the map. Then...in the study she revealed some of the results of her research with over 400 women. Guess what? I am so not alone. One woman put #1 as hormones, #2 as hormones, and #3 as hormones. Another lady said....let's see we have pre-menstrual, we have menstrual, and then we have post-menstrual....that leaves us with about 1 good week a month. Boy oh boy oh boy....these ladies are singing my blues song! And today just wrapped it all up in a bow.

Take another look at that little picture at the top....that cute little old thing sure causes a lot of problems. I love how the picture has two red dots on either end....cute....very cute!

Truth Be Told....

Why must my life be about losing weight or the food I'm eating so dadgum much? I wish I could remember life before November 2002: I loved to eat and hated being fat but I did NOT allow myself to care if I ate two cookies and drank a milkshake. I didn't think much about what I ordered, other than the fact that it sounded good. But stilll....I wasn't happy with my body. I was overweight and miserable, but that did not affect my eating. But since the beginning days of Weight Watchers and bargaining with myself over how many points I felt some foods were worth....and having tasted the life of someone with a healthier shape....I sit here six years later wondering if I am kidding myself for trying. If you have read this blog a while, you know that I have tried over and over again. I have posts of my weight loss attempts and quite frankly, I have been determined....motivated....restarted OVER and OVER again. I need to lose at least 30 pounds....and I don't have the faintest clue if I will. I want to say "this time, I'm gonna do it" or "I know I can do it" but I've said those words countless times over the last two years that I am ashamed to look back....



There is a voice inside of me that says, "Jaimz, you are kidding yourself...you need to shut up with the whole losing weight thing...you need to decide to just be the weight you are....so what if you are 30 pounds overweight....lots of people are...lots of people are much more....just enjoy eating and FORGET about losing weight and counting points and all that business!"


But here's the thing: if I accepted the status quo, that is when I'd be kidding myself. I feel better about myself when I am 30 pounds lighter. I like buying clothes (right now, I get depressed and literally cry in the dressing room) when I am 30 pounds lighter. And I feel better around my eating....I don't feel sick or bloated or cranky if I eat better, within certain guidelines.


So...what will be different this time? I really have no idea. Maybe nothing. I don't know if there is anything new to do or try. It is doing what I already know to do and doing it consistently. One thing I know from restarting so many times is my stomach shrinks in about 4 days so that I don't feel like I'm starving. Now....I've done the 4 days in a row thing over and over. So, I am going to shoot for a whole week this time. Sadly, I have to start tomorrow because I had a chocolate attack at work and ate close to a whole bag of Hershey's Nuggets. If I can get through one week at a time (shooting for perfect weeks here....counting points as close as possible and staying within points, including the extra 35). Then, we'll see if I can do 4 weeks in a row. Since 4 days is a "magic" number for me, I wonder what 4 weeks looks like. Four weeks from today is February 5th-woot! And I heard about this challenge that is 6 weeks long, starting today so I want to join. Four weeks can turn into six, right? So my goal for the 6 weeks is 10 little ole pounds. Wish me luck, pray for me, give me tips and inspiration....anything you can!


Wanna know more about the challenge? Go here!

Are My Kids Nerds?

We have a local Christian Radio Station that has a feature "Loving on Kids Thursday" when kids call in and request a song. My kids have done this enough that the radio hosts know both of them fairly well. My son has "outgrown" the feature, as they say "kids 12 and under" call in and he has crossed over into the 4th dimension known as the Teen Zone. Still, my eleven year old girl calls in on a fairly regular basis. This morning, they were talking about praying for the president and can you list the 5 living presidents. And my husband had to share with the radio station before handing the phone over to the girl....that she can name ALL the presidents, in order. So this morning, the world (or a portion of those listening to this radio station) heard my baby girl list every US president from Washington to Obama (and incidentally, she says "and now or soon Obama" when she gets to the end).


And when my son was quite young and we were invited over to someone's house, the adults were in one room visiting and the little ones were in one room. My son was probably about 7 years old and there were some older kids entertaining the younger ones. So one of the teenagers was asking questions like "can you say your ABC's?" and trying to get them to say them. My son asked if he wanted to hear them forwards or backwards. The teen, thinking my son was being a smarty pants, asked him to say them backwards....so he did.


So....I ask you.....are my kids nerds? When I was in school, it was bad to be a nerd. But nowadays, it ain't so bad....the nerds tend to be the ones running the businesses and making the money.

How is your 2009 going?

OK, OK, OK already! It is only January 6th and already the year seems to be pounding at me! I was so looking to catch my breath after Christmas being so hectic. Not happening! I am meeting myself coming and going! This morning, everywhere I went, all the drivers around me seemed angry and hostile. And EVERYONE I've talked to is already too busy at work and/or having personal difficulties (family in the hospital, spouses breaking ankles, and so on). I have heard that the police calls are up, lots of violent outbreaks! It seems like great tension is all around me. Is it the world is uncertain with the economy and the overseas "stuff"? WHAT is going on? I would love to hear how things are in your part of the world....maybe it is just my community.

Thoughts on Reading the Bible in a Year

Being as it is early in the year, there seems to be a focus on reading the Bible through in a year, at least at my church. My local Christian bookstore, Lifeway, had the Bible pictured above on sale for $5.00 so I snatched it up. I've started reading it....actually started on January 1st. It is working out pretty well. And as I recall, I've started these type reading "plans" several times before. I am thinking the farthest I've gotten is June. Seems like a shame that I could stick with it for 6 months and then give up....but I did that. Other times, I would get behind and try to catch up. Wooo.....that would get difficult. And I recall hearing (and I am quite certain it comes from Beth Moore) that there is a place for these type reading plans, but if we focus too much on them and become legalistic, we lose something. Our God wants to speak to us in a personal way and as ironic as it may seem, we get so caught up....so busy reading His Word.....we don't hear the Word He has for us. So, this year, I'm not really going to focus on staying "caught up". I'm just going to read and listen for the Word God has just for me.....and when I hear it, I'm going to pause and soak it in.

What are your thoughts on these reading plans and Bibles?

Resolution Schmesolution

I've been reading various New Year's Resolutions around the blogosphere, and I have bad experiences with resolutions. I mean if I fall through on the resolution, why should I wait till the next year? My life is a series of falling and getting right back up IN SO MANY WAYS! Goals are good, though....I have several of those that I started back in November. However, I do like what I find as I'm reading over at Beth Moore's blog. I am a Beth More groupie, I'll admit that! But ONLY because she knows how to communicate with us about our Almighty in a deep and powerful way! If you are a reader of her blog, you are a "Siesta." So that makes me a Siesta. And I rarely comment on her blog because 3000 folks comment on her blog ,and I don't want to muddy it up more. But she has something going on that is really fantastic. It is resolutionish, but I'm joining in anyway! I will commit to memorizing two Scriptures a month. That is do-able, right? She recommends getting a spiral index card set to record these Scriptures....that'll be on my shopping list for tomorrow. But I thought you all might like to know my first Scripture. Beth is having us check in on the 1st and 15th of the month to share our Scriptures, but I may just share them here, too. If you want to learn more, head over to this blog post and read for yourself. I don't think there is a time frame if you want to sign up late....I did! You might also read here (it talks about signing up "late").

My Scripture is Isaiah 54:10 (this is out the New Living Translation):
"For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you.